


Can't Forget

by captainamergirl



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: Alternate History, Cash forever, F/M, First Kiss, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: A slightly AU-ish take on Josh and Cassie's first kiss.
Relationships: Cassie Layne/Josh Lewis
Kudos: 1





	Can't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in early 2006, before Josh and Cassie had ever kissed. I was mad crazy about them (still am actually!) and wanted them together so much. This was my fantasy of how their first kiss would happen. I take a lot of liberties with Josh and Reva's history. Sorry not sorry.

Cassie Winslow stood on the river bank, looking out over the water. The sun’s last orange-golden rays cast light over the shimmering, placid surface.  
  
The birds sang their last songs and went to their nests high up in the trees. It was so quiet. Cassie shivered involuntarily – it was a little chilly but she hardly noticed; she was so deep in thought.   
  
She was thinking of Jeffrey again and how things had ended, and that she was okay now inspite of it all. She rarely ever woke in the night anymore to clutch at the pillow where he once laid his head. But at times like this, she missed him. When she was surrounded in a place of beauty like this one, she wanted a warm hand to hold and a strong shoulder to lay her head on.   
  
And now here she was, surrounded by Josh’s testament of love to her sister Reva. This was the field where they had played together as children. She could picture the two of them running through the field, catching fireflies, and getting fat on peaches in the trees above her head.   
  
Reva had told Cassie that on her wedding day to Josh, she had come upstream in this very river, to greet him in a common fishing trawler. He had helped her out of it and led her to the middle of the field where he married her before family and friends.   
  
Josh had said that because he and Reva loved each other so much they were married three times and he was certain that the third time was finally going to take. Cassie’s marriages had not “took”. When she had said “forever” to Richard and then to Edmund, she was a liar. Because nothing in her life had ever lasted forever.   
  
Through tears, she unclasped the necklace around her neck and threw it into the river. It had been a gift from Jeffrey and she just didn’t feel right wearing it anymore.   
  
She felt something warm being slipped over her shoulders and looked up. Josh stood there, draping a warm blanket around her.  
  
“T-thanks,” she said.   
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
Cassie wrapped the blanket tighter around her.   
  
“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” Josh said.   
  
Cassie nodded, pulling the blanket up a little to hide her tear-stained face.  
  
“Reva and I have built so many memories here. Good ones and also bad ones.”  
  
Cassie didn’t say anything.  
  
Josh said, “When you love someone, it is hard to let go. It’s hard for you to be here, isn’t it? Surrounded by all of Reva’s and my memories. It makes you feel alone?”  
  
Cassie nodded. “Yes.”   
  
“You’ll find love again one day, Cassie, I’m sure of it. And he’ll be amazing and just what you always needed and wanted.”  
  
Cassie burst into fresh tears, clutching the blanket around her like a life-preserver. Josh took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him.   
  
“What is it?” he asked. “I was trying to make you feel better.”  
  
Cassie wouldn’t look at him. She felt humiliated, standing there sobbing while he stared at her. She turned her head into the blanket.   
  
“Look at me,” Josh said.   
  
She didn’t respond, only cried harder.   
  
“Look at me – please,” he said, reaching out and tilting her chin up so that they were looking at each other, eye-to-eye.   
  
“Focus on me, Cassie. Don’t let Jeffrey’s actions continue to hurt you.”   
  
“Its – it’s not that. Not really –“  
  
“Then what is it?”   
  
“You wouldn’t understand.”   
  
“What wouldn’t I understand?”  
  
“How it feels to be utterly and completely alone.”  
  
“Oh I don’t understand that? Every time Reva and I have a fight and she walks out I feel alone. I feel worthless and weak – like I wasn’t enough of a man to make her happy; to make her want to stay.”  
  
“But you’re back together now.”   
  
“Well, I know it isn’t going to be easy to stay together.”  
  
“What I mean is … you don’t know what it’s like to see a person every day – every damned day – and you want to reach out to them and pull them close. And you can’t because – because … there is someone else in the picture.”  
  
“I didn’t know Jeffrey was seeing someone.”   
  
“Ugh! I don’t mean Jeffrey. I mean …” her voice trailed off and she looked away. I mean you, Josh, she added silently. I see you and Reva together and I am so jealous of what she has with you.   
  
“Don’t turn away from me, Cassie,” he said.  
  
“Why shouldn’t I?” she asked.   
  
“Because – because …”   
  
“Now you’re the one stumbling over your words,” Cassie said wryly.  
  
“Because I’m trying to tell you that –“ he broke off. He then reached out and yanked Cassie to him. Without a thought in his head but how beautiful she looked under the night’s new moon, he crushed her lips to his.  
  
She gasped, attempted to pull away, but he pulled her right back. She felt his tongue pushing up against her teeth and she felt powerless to stop her mouth from opening wider to accept it.   
  
They just stood, wrapped in each other’s embrace, kissing passionately, the mutual need and attraction pulling them together.  
  
An unbeckoned picture of Reva suddenly jumped into Cassie’s mind and she pushed Josh away.   
  
“Ohmigod-“ She touched her kiss-swollen lips. “I can’t believe we-“  
  
Josh saw the horrified expression on her face. “Cassie, I’m so sorry. You just looked so -“  
  
Cassie held up a shaky hand. “Don’t say it.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.   
  
She turned on her heel and ran away. The blanket fell in a heap behind her as she ran, Josh’s “I’m sorry … I’m sorry” ringing in her ears.  
  
Josh picked up the blanket and held it to his face. It smelled like her, her hair – sunny and warm and soft. He sat down on the bank of the river and watched the moon. He would give Cassie time to cool off – give himself time to cool off, actually – and then he would head back and they would act like it had never happened. Even though the last thing he wanted to do was forget …  
  
**THE END**


End file.
